sect of jocks
The first version of this text was widely circulated among the relevant “sectarians”. A few months later, we decided to finish and expand it - especially for “Zozhnik” and everyone who wants to get an invigorating insight into what the world of bodybuilding is like.
THE HOLY TRINITY OF BODYBUILDING
Bench, deadlift, squat - three basic exercises, using which you can achieve almost any results and develop absolutely all muscles. All three exercises together are called “base”, and anyone who does not do them, by definition, does not belong to the sect and is only an object of condescending grins among real adherents.
So, attention, once again - the holy trinity of bodybuilding:
SQUAT
PRESS
DEADLIFT
And no matter what the boorish celebrity blogger writes, no matter what your neighbor/neighbour/brother/matchmaker/bastard tells you, know that the bench press, deadlift and squat are the three most effective exercises for building a beautiful body. Both male and female. Whether you want slender legs or pumped ones, you still need a “base” for all this. Proven by any advanced amateur or athlete.
At the same time, remember that all other exercises in the gym, including any of the hundreds of machines in the gym, are just auxiliary and are needed to only enhance the effect of the “base”.
Yes, of course, you can stick your neck out and basically build up a decent body without using a base. But this will require a lot more effort and protein.
In general, the “base” is mandatory, including for girls, if they want to be real adherents of the Kachkov sect - slim and beautiful.
Age is also no barrier to ignoring the “holy trinity.”
From sectarian humor about the “base”:
The insignia of an adept is the body, which is also a cross that is proudly worn. Muscle volume is like a military rank, sophistication is like a palette of awards: unspoken insignia of distinction and hierarchy.
TEMPLE
The hall is a temple. And even more precisely - House of pain (literally: “house of pain”, and there is also such a hip-hop group). And you need to visit it at least 3 times a week, otherwise you are not a real adept, but just fooling around.
Advanced athletes preparing for outstanding results train 1 or 2 times every day, like Schwarzenegger.
You have to pay to visit, depending on the rules of each hall. It's funny, but in Russia, gyms are some of the most expensive in the world. For example, in the USA in the center of New York it is easy to find gyms for $20-30 per month. In St. Petersburg in the center, decent halls cost from $1000 a year, in Moscow it’s more expensive.
By the way, a very important point for choosing the right fitness room is how much equipment there is for the “base”. Oddly enough, there are halls that, on a thousand or two square meters, contain only 1 or 2 power racks needed by sectarians for squats, a couple of benches for bench presses, and there is no platform for deadlifting at all. At the same time, there are as many different types of exercise equipment as you can see (sometimes up to a hundred), a swimming pool, and a bunch of halls with group classes. If you want to exercise seriously, run away from such “gyms.”
This one will be more effective:
And here is the entire photo selection of home-grown gyms.
In general, those who don’t want to do it look for a reason why they don’t do it, those who want to do it simply do it.
FOOD
Food in Kachkov’s Russia is a cult within a cult - and the attitude towards what you eat is stricter than that of the Jews. The main mantra here is: more protein (eggs, fish, meat), less simple carbohydrates (sugar) and unsaturated fats (mayonnaise, butter). It is the jock sect that, like no other, is close to the practical application of the phrase “you are what you eat.”
Chicken breasts, fish, rice, cottage cheese are the food shrines of the jock. Mayonnaise, cakes, anything in batter, fat, dough - real bodybuilders do not eat all this. And those who eat are looked at with disgust or pity - depending on the situation.
At the same time, the “sectarians” are proud that, unlike other people, they can occasionally afford it without compromising their figure. This is called “the day of gluttony,” when everything is possible, without consequences for the body and conscience.
Jocks can spend hours discussing the right food, all of them know how to cook and eat 5-6 times a day (yes, a snack with a pack of cottage cheese is also food).
From sectarian humor.
Again, a little self-irony.
“ON DRYING” AND “ON MASS”
The fast of a sectarian is called “drying”. Cutting is a 2-6 month process of reducing the percentage of body fat through exercise and a strict diet. Along with fat, part of the muscle mass also disappears (despite training). Unfortunately, this is an inevitable loss for the sake of body beauty. The process itself usually takes place once a year or several times - if you need to compete.
This is what the same person looks like on the mass and after drying:
And this is what my trainer Alexander looked like before and after drying:
Inside a huge and plump (in the eyes of a naive man in the street) man, under a layer of fatty tissue, hides a body clothed in muscles. You just need to “manifest” it. It happens that a person has fat, but no muscles, then there is nothing to show.
There is even a legend when one athlete brought himself to 1% body fat through grueling procedures. That's why he died.
The same photo with body fat percentage, but about women:
Average body fat percentage varies by gender and age. Because of estrogen, women have 5% more body fat than men. The average female has approximately 23% body fat, and the average male has 17%. For a lower percentage of fat you have to pay dearly with your health - this is what the performing “bikinist” Tatyana Prokofieva says about it.
By the way, another important feature of fat is that it is much lighter than muscle. This is what a kilogram of fat looks like compared to a kilogram of muscle:
Accordingly, the same person with the same height and weight can look completely different:
The reverse process of drying is called “mass”, when fat is also needed to form new muscles. “On the mass” you can allow yourself to eat away in a way that girls who are not members of a sect can only dream of.
That is, every real sectarian is almost always either “cutting” (getting rid of fat and some muscles) or “massing” (increasing muscle volume while maintaining a certain level of fat in the body).
In general, the body fat percentage of a jock is a relatively easily changed number. This is possible thanks to muscles that easily “burn” excess fat. If you keep your daily caloric intake within the required limits, you will dry out and see your defined muscles; if you increase your calorie intake, new muscles will grow, but fat will also increase.
6.Types of athletes – Screamer
Athletic type, clearly hyperactive. It is unknown if this is due to ADHD or the new magic steroids. They are still being tested, and the dealer promised him that with them he will achieve EVERYTHING and more. Even when warming up, the screamer makes sounds: breathing heavily, moaning, and this is only part of his repertoire. The worst thing is when he comes with a friend. Then the horror begins. These screams often make other visitors feel like they are done with their workout...
PROPHETS
His Majesty Arnold Schwarzenegger is a typical living legend that everyone in the world seems to know about.
Andrey Skoromny.
But the further you dive into the sect, the more you know who our Andrei Skoromny and Oksana Grishina or foreign Ronnie Coleman or Jay Cutler are.
Alexander (born 1952) and Dmitry (born 1977) Yashankins.
And this is multiple Mr. Olympia winner Phil Heath:
Advanced sectarians say that in his best form, Arnold Schwarzenegger would not even be among the finalists of the current world championship - Mr. Olympia - the level has increased too much (including the level of drugs).
MAIN SECTANT TRENDS
Just like within each direction of the church, for example, Christians (Protestants, Catholics, Orthodox and, of course, Baptists), the sect of jocks has its own directions and currents, competing and in some places vehemently not understanding each other.
Among men, there are two main competing areas: bodybuilding and powerlifting. Bodybuilding is aimed at appearance and development of maximum muscle mass. Powerlifting puts results first and is aimed at being able to lift the maximum number of kilograms in three basic exercises (press, squat, deadlift). Therefore, the “lifters” laugh at the “builders”, and they tease them back.
There are not many “lifters” among women, and the main competition of currents is different answers to the question of how many muscles a woman can have. Roughly speaking, women have three such options. The category closest to ordinary life: fitness bikini - these are elaborate “cutes” that are liked not only by sectarians, but also by almost all other inhabitants of the Earth.
Representatives of the fintess bikini trend look like this:
Yana Kashcheeva is the absolute champion of Russia in the Fitness Bikini category.
Here you can see the Instagrams of the most famous fitness bikinis in Russia.
The next female category in terms of the number of muscles is body fitness and fitness. Women competing in this category look something like this:
Finally, women also have a “bodybuilding” category, where the muscle mass of the participants is not limited in any way. As a result, the participants—all of them on male hormones—look something like this. It is because of representatives of this category that sectarian girls are persecuted and bullied on social networks (by the way, this is typical only for Russia).
Lenda Murray, eight-time winner of the Ms. Olympia competition, was born in 1962 in Detroit.
In general, you can see the differences between different categories of girls here:
However, there are a tiny number of fans of the female category of “bodybuilding” even among the most ardent jocks. The reason for sympathy for such women most likely lies in the many years of professional psychological deformation of jocks.
"Popular" gym goer
Each gym has its own Popular ones. Sometimes even several. Regulars. He usually goes to the gym every day and everyone knows him. When he arrives, he walks around everyone, smiles a lot and jokes. The perfect partner to talk to between episodes. But beware of the special variant of “popular”. As soon as he meets you, he will tell you the story of his entire life. He will give you no peace no matter what you do. He will talk and talk. It's hard to escape from him. Worst of all, if for some strange reason the “popular” one falls in love with you... then you'll have to change gyms.
PERSECUTION OF GIRLS-SECTANTS
But let's return to more modest muscle forms. A typical “lure” into a sect looks something like this and, by the way, is almost always the truth:
Doing what is shown in these photos is surprisingly simple: 3 times a week in the gym with a trainer and a healthy diet. But there is one problem that is unique to our country, where almost everyone cares about everyone. Apparently, thanks to dramatic changes for the better, there are a huge number of people on the Internet who will write to a girl involved in bodybuilding: “shoulders like a man’s”, “legs like a weightlifter”, “little femininity”, “where are the boobs” and others, sometimes much harsher words.
The worst thing is that many weak-willed girls, who seem to be not averse to seriously working on their bodies in the gym, are afraid of such persecution. And most importantly, they are captive of a naive fear that as soon as they take up the barbell, their muscles will instantly swell.
Gym Giant
types of athletes
The man in the gym is about 2 meters tall and weighs over 100 kg. The circumference of the biceps is almost equal to the circumference of the thigh. This type usually occupies the free weights area. He looks scary, but giants are often good, honest guys who just enjoy strength training. They don’t interfere with others’ exercises, sometimes they even help. The big advantage is that when they use dumbbells, you don't have to wait for them to finish because most of the time no one is interested in those 50 kg. The “Giant” type often doesn’t like the next “Popular” type.
DRUGS
Grandmothers or parents of sectarians, seeing huge colored jars with large inscriptions on the outside and white powder inside, immediately grab their hearts, and someone grabs validol - their son (grandson, granddaughter, daughter) has gone downhill. And it is almost impossible to explain to them that the can contains ordinary protein, which could be replaced with fish, chicken, shrimp - only simpler and cheaper.
This is what a jar of protein supplement looks like.
In addition to proteins in huge jars, “sectarians” often take a variety of amino acids (protein components) such as BCAA (the so-called “betseashki” - three essential amino acids, roughly speaking, “the same proteins, only different”) and, for example, creatine (a nitrogen-containing carbon acid, which in its essence is also a protein and is involved in energy metabolism in muscle and nerve cells. Used to increase strength, muscle mass and short-term aerobic endurance with proven safety).
A page of sectarian humor.
Almost all professional athletes use anabolic steroids, but it is not customary to talk about this with ordinary people.
Firstly, because these drugs are prohibited. Since 2003, for the purchase/sale of “drugs” or “vitamins” (as professional athletes call them) in Russia, punishment ranges from a fine of several thousand rubles to imprisonment for up to 8 (!) years. Agree, this is very convenient for the court and it’s the Russian way - you can impose a fine of 10 thousand, or you can put him in prison for 8 years. In general, when every citizen is a criminal, it is very convenient and comfortable for the state. Naturally, ours.
Secondly, due to the negative image associated with possible side effects that may arise due to non-compliance with the regimen and dosage.
Moreover, special “natural bodybuilding” competitions are held among athletes who do not use steroids. But, looking at the mounds of the participants’ muscles, it’s hard to believe in the purity of the experiment.
MISCONCEPTS OF "SNOWDROP"
“Temple of Pain” is open to everyone, always. But not everyone who has tried is drawn into the sect, and every year in spring the hall is filled with young shoots - “snowdrops”, which real adherents look at with poorly concealed superiority. But it’s worth distinguishing newcomers from “snowdrops.” The latter train for a maximum of two to three months and do not even try to master the technique of the exercises. There is no shame in being a newbie; the jocks are good-natured guys and are always happy to give advice. The only problem with “snowdrops” is that they don’t ask for advice, don’t listen, and almost always skimp on a trainer, which makes their classes pointless in 95% of cases.
Chest press
Technique:
- Choose the appropriate weight for your training. It should increase with each approach.
- Take a position on the simulator: bend your lower back slightly, straighten your shoulders, position your elbows so that when stretching they are perpendicular to the handles of the simulator.
- At the end point, do not straighten your elbows completely.
- When stretching, inhale; when contracting, exhale.
- During the exercise, do not rest on straight arms.
We do four approaches (three warm-up and one working - we perform the exercise to failure) for 12-15 repetitions. The break between approaches is a minute.
Is it possible to pump up using small weights?
How to properly increase the load in training
TYPICAL MISTAKES AND MISCONCEPTIONS OF SNOWDROPS
1. Plump gym goers spend hours on the treadmill thinking it will help them “get toned.” Cardio exercises are called “cardio” because they train the heart and blood vessels. But if the goal is to burn fat, then walking, running, and others like them are the least effective methods.
2. Girls don’t work out on machines, with dumbbells and barbells, thinking that they might suddenly grow huge muscles. There is no way this could happen by chance. Without special medications, even years of hard daily training will not help muscles grow beyond the fitness bikini category.
3. People work out their abs, thinking of losing belly fat. It is impossible to burn fat in any specific place. Fat disappears evenly from the entire body and the last place where it goes in a man is the lower abdomen, while in a woman it usually lingers longest on the legs and butt. Once again: local fat burning does not exist - and here’s why.
4. “Snowdrops” expect results immediately. Yes, for beginners, progress is noticeable quite quickly, but you need to wait at least two months for the first serious results. And this is provided that the patient follows the rules of a healthy diet and exercises in the gym at least three times a week.
6. Finally, “snowdrops” often do not follow the unwritten rules of the gym, which irritates adherents: they work out in slippers, do not disassemble the barbells, step over the barbell, do not warm up, come up with new exercises and do a lot of what is described in the text on Zozhnik: “12 rules : how not to look like a sucker at the gym.”
In general, the result of proper training with a trainer and proper nutrition begins to be visible after 3 months, after a year - you are already a completely different person in body shape. If you practice without knowledge, a trainer and food culture, then you may never become an adept, and outwardly remain the same as you came to the gym.
TWO TYPES OF DATING IN THE GYM
In fact, historically it has happened that it is more natural for a girl to remain in the shadows on the battlefield of love dating. But we, men (not all of them, though), know that in 80% of dating, a woman decides whether a man will approach her or not.
Passive role when meeting a guy at the gym
This model of behavior is more familiar to the female community, both for social reasons and for instinctive reasons. The fact is that all men are males first and foremost and we do not value too easy prey. The passive female role when meeting a man in the gym includes a whole series of tricks and tricks.
Staring game
A wonderful technique that works in the vast majority of cases. And even if you decide to choose an active method of dating, it is necessary to establish eye contact before taking active steps. Shoot your eyes towards the young man you like.
Just don’t overdo it; when your eyes meet, put on a sly smile and immediately look away. I assure you, if you are even a little interesting to the chosen guy, he will certainly look for eye contact with you again and again. Staring contest is a very subtle game. If you take too active a role in it, the effect may be the opposite of what you expected.
An unfamiliar girl may stop being interesting to a guy if she shows her interest too actively.
Sexual exercises in front of his nose
This technique works great as a logical continuation of the previous one. After you make visual contact for the first time, watch with your peripheral vision (and in every self-respecting room there are mirrors hung on the walls for this purpose) for his reaction. When the victim of your seductions begins to periodically glance in your direction, then it’s time to do the most sexual exercises, such as:
- Romanian deadlift;
- lifting the legs while standing on all fours;
- squats with wide legs;
— bent over barbell/dumbbell row;
— bending over with a barbell;
- leg bending in the simulator (lying).
Perform these exercises with light weights, your task is to make them as sexy as possible.
Do the exercises obviously incorrectly
This technique will work if the guy you like:
a) has already shown his interest in you;
b) the fucking jock has training experience, which is easily guessed by his figure.
The correct and logical action of any adequate man in such a situation is to come up and point out your mistakes. Just don’t expect him to run across the entire room to quickly get to know you and point out the mistakes. No matter how it is. Do your obviously incorrect exercises somewhere near your potential beau.
Stroke yourself
To let a potential lover/boyfriend know about your intentions to get acquainted, use body language. Play on his instincts. When you are sure that he is now looking at you (you can use mirrors or place a network of agents throughout the room), perform erotic stroking of the neck, chest, thighs or quadriceps (front of the leg). Smooth the neck gently, exposing the wrists. Run your hand through your hair from your forehead to the back of your head.
Just do it casually, otherwise he will get the impression that your health is not all right
