When a woman dominates in BDSM. Role-playing games of submission and domination

Female domination in BDSM (femdom) is in demand among men quite often. This is one of the ways to relax for the stronger sex, who are forced to be leaders and are tired of it. In such relationships, they get what they cannot afford in everyday life: to show weakness, dependence on someone.

BDSM is a psychosexual subculture based on the erotic exchange of power. The exchange occurs as a result of role-playing games, which are based on relationships of submission and dominance. Partners are divided into top and bottom. The top, or dominant, is the one who is dominant, and the bottom, or submissive, is the dependent, giving power over himself to the hands of the top. The dominant and the submissive enter into some kind of agreement between each other.

Female domination in BDSM is a fairly common type of sex, where the top partner is a woman, and the bottom is a man. The woman in this case is the mistress, the mistress, while the man is the slave.

What kind of men choose the role of submissive?i

• Thrill seekers. Unusual sex for such men is comparable to a roller coaster: scary, but terribly interesting. And, most importantly, we know that nothing bad will happen.

• Those who are afraid of responsibility. Making decisions and solving problems is not an easy task, but here is a game where there are certain rules, control, everything is clear and predictable. You can allow yourself to relax.

• Men with unfulfilled passions. A person is born active or passive by nature, but in life everything can be different. If someone who is passive by birth occupies a leadership position, then it is vital for him to realize his innate passion. And, conversely, if active addictions are not revealed in everyday life, then you have to look for their use elsewhere. For such purposes, the bedroom is the best option.

• Those who want to diversify both life in general and sex in particular. There is an opinion that people who have experienced psychological trauma in childhood enter into BDSM relationships. This is only partly true, because the niche of such sexual relationships is mainly filled by extroverts. And these are individuals who are open to the outside world, friendly, inquisitive.

• Guilt always requires punishment. Once upon a time, popular flogging was a common method. Since those distant times, on a subconscious level, the guilty person has been seeking punishment using a now forgotten method.

What does it mean to dominate: how dominants behave

The concept of dominance is broad because there is no single definition.

• Some people see dominance as an endless demonstration of their own strength.
• Others are the ability to manipulate, others are the ability to be an alpha male and solve any problems.

These are different types of male dominance, and each of them occurs because it resonates and is realized. However, not everyone is worth following.

When thinking about how a man dominates a woman, most men imagine a tough alpha who twists ropes out of his girlfriend, bending her to his will in any way she likes. In fact, it rarely works this way: few people are capable of acting in these ways by nature.

It’s a rare girl these days who will allow herself to be controlled in everything. A successful result of such a relationship will only happen when there is a girl who wants to bend herself.

It does not often happen that the control of one and the submission of the other will be accepted by both partners, and both will agree to it. In most cases, attempts to subjugate a woman to your will end with her leaving.

Dominance is based on the strength that one of the partners has. This power can really manifest itself through constant machismo, through manipulation and through the behavior of an alpha (read about who alphas are and what is characteristic of them in this article). But girls often choose calm guys who are simply capable of taking the situation into their own hands at the right moment and besieging even the most charismatic individuals. And such a trait is also a kind of form of dominance.

There are four rules to dominance. These are the points that create such a distribution of roles and indicate it:

• The dominant is an egoist. The dominant is the one who values ​​himself above his partner and relationships. Who can leave if something goes wrong. He is in a strong position and decides whether this relationship will continue or not. Moreover, the leader is so convinced of his value that the follower is inspired by it. He also believes that his partner is important and valuable, and can also leave at any time. Therefore it bends even more. A dominant guy in a relationship with a woman easily enters into conflict and puts his decisions and feelings above, so the woman believes in this and agrees to any conditions for fear of losing her partner.
• Those who love less have more control. He does not have such a strong fear of losing a partner and weak points into which it is convenient to direct manipulation. And vice versa: if you are constantly jealous, offended, worried, throwing tantrums - you give all the ways to control yourself based on these emotions and become a follower.
• The more self-sufficient one dominates. The more important and joyful things in his life besides relationships, the easier it will be for him to part with them. A person for whom relationships mean everything will bend over backwards to preserve them.
• The more you invest, the more dependent you become. You don’t want to lose a relationship that you’ve worked hard on. I would rather compromise or give in to my partner. The one who received the relationship for nothing values ​​it less than the one who put effort into it. Unwillingness to waste so much resource and energy makes a person vulnerable.

Female domination in BDSM: why does a woman need it2

• Representatives of the fair sex are not always willing to enter into such a relationship. Often, in this way they try to please the man they love, or try to keep their partner or revive a cooling relationship.

• Those women who consciously accept games with female dominance find in them an increase in their own self-esteem and an opportunity to show power.

Basic principles of BDSM 3

Reasonableness, voluntariness, safety - these are the three pillars on which BDSM relationships are based.

• Reasonableness. Before you set foot on the path of unusual sexual relationships, you need to discuss all the nuances. Some couples even enter into contracts, naturally, without registration with a notary. Nevertheless, they execute them thoroughly.

After finishing the game, it is useful to discuss it several times at intervals of a day or two. There is no need to dramatize any unsuccessful moments; it is better to treat sex as a fun experiment.

• Voluntariness. Nobody forces anyone, everyone is free to make their own choice.
• Safety. A very important point. Before starting the game, it would be a good idea to inquire about your partner’s health in order to avoid unpleasant consequences. Particular responsibility lies with the top partner. He should carefully monitor and correctly assess the condition of the lower one. A prerequisite for security is the choice of a safe word.

If one of the participants says it, this is a sign that the effect should be reduced or stopped completely. You cannot practice BDSM while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. You shouldn’t get so carried away by the game that it begins to control your life; There must be a line between play and life.

A dominant woman must develop an appropriate, dominant attitude: speak in an authoritative voice that does not allow objections, and use her stack from time to time. There should be no room for pity, otherwise everything will go down the drain.

What not to do

Dominance, built on manipulation, does not tolerate stupidity. You will have to learn to understand people and situations, to see leverage, motivation and mistakes in behavior - your own and others. You need to be able to recognize stronger dominants: it is better to retreat in front of them, because they will get their way from you. Either painlessly, or with losses on your part. I will write a separate article about what to do if a girl likes to dominate. But the point is that either you come to terms with it and find a convenient form of interaction, or it’s better to separate.

• Again, it is impossible to influence only through punishment - without encouragement it is meaningless and only leads to the disintegration of any relationship. Remember what power over a person gives the opportunity to ensure his desires.
• You should not try to jump above your own head - if you are not able to constantly be a boorish macho, you should not try. Choose a more convenient form of dominance.
• Do not turn dominance into violence by forcing it on a girl who does not accept this form of relationship, but is too weak to leave on her own. Such a patriarchal format should be established only when both partners are ready and agree to it.
• Don't think that dominance is the only key to a happy relationship. This is not true at all. This is just one of the forms, which, in fact, is not suitable for everyone due to its high labor intensity: you need to constantly monitor the woman’s actions and correct their direction. More equal and honest relationships are just as satisfying in most cases.
• Don't think that dominance is the greatest power you can have. Acting honestly with yourself and others and getting what you want is much more difficult and, as a rule, more effective.
• Don't get carried away. If you decide to dominate a girl, do not by pure chance end up dominating everyone around you - it is so difficult that it is unlikely that anyone can pull it off. And it doesn't make too much sense.

If you want to dominate a girl, but haven’t found her yet, go to the rating of the best sites and start dating!

1. Which type of dominance is closer to you?
2. Are you sure you can handle it?
3. Why did you decide that it is necessary to dominate the girl?

Answer in the comments!

Ways to get pleasure for men4

• Bondage

Bondage – domination in BDSM with tying up. With its help you can implement a large number of scenarios. The partner can tie his hands behind his back, this will be partial immobilization. You can connect your ankles and wrists together, which will lead to complete immobility. The same effect can be achieved using a straitjacket, swaddling sheets, or mummification in cling film.

One option is to tie it to an object: a bed, a table, a chair. Door handles and batteries will come in handy. There is a wide choice, but one should not forget about safety - one should not pull the ropes too tightly, much less leave them on the body for a long time. With prolonged clamping, local blood circulation is impaired, and bruises and bruises may remain.

The tied partner feels a sense of submission and helplessness. For greater persuasiveness, you can blindfold him and insert earplugs into his ears. If you also close your mouth with a gag, then the inability to speak and swallow saliva will aggravate the feeling of humiliation. The dominant gains absolute power and can open the box with erotic fantasies, releasing them into the wild.

Many couples practice alternating exposure of the submissive’s body with hot wax and ice, injections, and pinching.

A special delight of bondage is the hanging of a tied partner.

• Fetishism

Fetishism is sexual lust and orgasm from any part of the body or from objects, things belonging to certain objects. By fetish in behavior we mean the fact that a person is able to get an orgasm only under certain conditions.

It is generally accepted that the adherents of this movement are men. This is not entirely true, because women also have fetishes. Most often this is a male body with pronounced muscles or hair.

Fetishes come in handy in relationships, especially in mistress-slave relationships in BDSM. Without them, the game will lose much of its appeal.

The female body is an undoubted fetish for a heterosexual man. The choice here is quite large: breasts, buttocks, wrists, but legs are especially popular.

A foot fetish is the worship of women's feet. Stockings and high heels enhance attraction. The lower partner can touch the legs, lick, kiss, starting from the fingers and ending with the inner surface of the thighs. One type of foot fetish is an attraction to feet. It probably arose for the reason that for a long time this part of the female body was hidden from male eyes by long skirts and shoes.

Worship of a certain part of the body, in particular the legs, played out in every possible way in games with dominance, is a foot fetish in BDSM.

Boo fetish - excitement from the sight, smell and any actions with shoes, again licking and kissing.

• Trampling

Trampling is the love of trampling. The upper partner tramples the lower one, both barefoot and in shoes.

• Facesitting

In this practice, the dominant sits on the submissive's face, with or without clothing. If not, then facesitting is accompanied by cunnilingus and anilingus.

• Strangulation

Choking and breath control is a rather dangerous practice, often a continuation of facesitting. Experts say that suffocation enhances sexual experiences. During asphyxia, a significant amount of hormones are released into the blood, which causes a state of euphoria. The person seems to fall out of the real world; when he leaves, he does not immediately understand who he is and where he is. This erotic technique is carried out with hands or improvised means.

• Orgasm control

A dominant woman can take control of her partner's orgasm. To do this, before starting the game, you need to come up with conditions under which discharge will become possible. During the game, as soon as the man approaches the climax, the woman does not give permission for this. The more often you are forced to hold back your orgasm, the more the man will desire it and be humiliated.

If desired, the game can be extended over a long period of time. It’s a good idea to periodically tease your partner - walk in front of him in a sexy outfit, leave your underwear in sight. If a man plunges headlong into a game, he really will not get a release without an order - his psyche and consciousness change so much.

• Male genital torture

The penis and scrotum are subjected to considerable torture: ligation with cords, exposure to special devices, hanging weights, and the use of high and low temperatures.

• Forced feminization

A male submissive is forced to try on the role of a woman. To do this, he has to change his appearance as well as his behavior. It's quite a humiliation for a heterosexual man to put on makeup and wear lingerie. Forced feminization is one of the most piquant types of domination.

• Ponyplay

Pony play is one of the popular BDSM practices, when the bottom partner plays the role of a horse, and the top partner plays the role of a rider.

• Ballbusting

What is ballbusting - blows to the testicles, inflicted with hands, feet, using a stick or whip.

• Chastity belt

A chastity belt is a mechanical device to prevent sexual intercourse.

• Golden Rain

This is the beautiful name for the practice in which the upper ones urinate on the lower ones.

• Flagellation

Spanking with long flexible objects: whip, whip.

How a man can dominate a woman

There are several basic rules for a man to begin to dominate a woman.

• To begin with, choose the appropriate type of dominance. You don’t need to remake yourself from scratch, you just need to choose the right manifestation of strength. This will require work on yourself, because until you train yourself to show strength and bring it to an automatic level, a critical failure can happen at any moment. You can learn how to properly dominate a girl with words, but if this is not at all typical for you, sticking to this strategy will be too difficult.
• Then, find a girl who likes this type of display of power. Women always distinguish what dominant behavior looks like. They do not ignore power, but prefer to choose it in the right form - and this is a competent and sensible approach.
• Don’t forget that dominance is not only about rights, but also about duties and responsibility. If you take control of a woman's will and actions, your task is to ensure her comfort and well-being.

A man who dominates a woman devalues ​​her personality: he perceives her as a tool, takes away the right to choose and does not allow her to realize her needs on her own. Therefore, if you put too much pressure and don’t take care of your partner’s comfort, pure violence will result, the relationship will collapse, the woman will leave. Therefore, if you cannot or do not plan to take care of a submissive woman, it is better not to start a story with dominance.

The best way to get the coveted power is to accustom the girl to the fact that for fulfilling your desires she receives something that she herself needs. When this reflex becomes unconditioned, she herself looks for opportunities to please, because this becomes beneficial not only to you, but also to her. To learn how to give positive reinforcement, read the article on how to please a girl.

Devices5

Without the appropriate attributes, dominance in BDSM is difficult to imagine. Of course, you can tie your hands with a bandage and blindfold your eyes with a handkerchief, but this is an option for beginners. People who seriously engage in “hard sex” cannot imagine sexual games without devices. Device – devices used during BDSM practices.

The number one device can be called a collar. It is used in almost all role-playing games. Numerous other devices come to his aid: handcuffs, shackles, ropes, straitjackets, hanging hooks, stacks, whips, whips. Particularly expressive are the devices used in the practice of ponyplay.

For ponies, there is a latex or other smooth material jumpsuit, with colors reminiscent of horse color. There are hooves, part of the bridle, and blinders for the eyes. Anal plugs with tails attached are inserted into the anus, and a plume is placed on the head.

The materials from which the devices are made are varied and environmentally friendly.

The dominant most often prefers tight-fitting, latex clothing in the form of a jumpsuit, with stiletto heels on his feet. A sexy outfit pleases and excites not only the man, but also the girl. In such BDSM clothes it is easier for her to get into the role, her look, posture, gait changes, and she gains self-confidence.

How to learn to dominate: basic dominant techniques

Start by choosing your own form of dominance. Understand how far you want to go: dominating a woman in communication or in bed is enough for you, or do you want to turn your companion into a convenient tool to satisfy your needs. You may want to settle for less and all that's left is to develop the appropriate habits.

If your goal is global, learn to use the well-known “carrot and stick”: punish a woman for disobedience, reward her for submission. Punishment may include bans on anything, temporary cessation of communication or sex, ignorance, revenge, or deprivation of some privileges.

Remember that not every girl will tolerate this. Another variant:

• be softer
• more carefully,
• more caring
• do something good in return.

But if you come across a girl who is knowledgeable in psychology and sees that you are reconfiguring her for yourself, the whole house of cards will collapse.

• Learn to be tough and gain strength. You will need to be tough either occasionally or all the time, depending on your strategy. This will require self-confidence and a lot of practice. Other people won't believe in your strength until you believe in it yourself.
• Train on random people and isolated cases. Are you able to crush someone with your will and charisma? Do they see your strength and obey it? When you learn to manage people who are higher than you in status, merit, or even just a career ladder, consider that you have learned.
• Don't try to do absolute evil. If you only seek to suppress others and establish yourself at their expense, you will be thrown off. It is necessary to give them something positive and desirable, which will prevent them from making an unambiguous decision about you.